Murphy's Laws of Bureaucracy


Secretary Acheson's Rule on Bureaucracy

A memo is written not to inform the reader, but to protect the writer.

Larsen's bureaucratic principle

Doing something impossible just means your boss will add the job to your job list.

Robert's rule of senior management in corporations

The job title outweighs the quality of the job.

Mosley's law

The behavior of senior leaders is based on the management myth that future expansion of the organization will solve the problems caused by past administrative incompetence.

The fifth rule of business success

Don't let your boss's boss sit on your boss's neck.

Robertson's bureaucratic rule

The more directives the bosses issue to solve a problem, the worse the situation becomes.

Steiner's postulates

1. In business, as in chess, the winner is the one who made the penultimate mistake.

2. At business meetings, the main and unsurpassed advantage is the ability to yawn with your mouth closed.

3. Constancy is the last resort of those without imagination.

4. More time is always devoted to unimportant issues, because we understand them more than the really important ones.

Weller's Rule for Bureaucratic Funding

Never agree with the statement that the department you lead has sufficient staffing, space or budget.

Engle's law

If you stand up during the roll call, someone else will immediately take your place.

Anderson's laws on the survival of lower-level managers

1. Don't be too often too right.

2. Remember: advice is better to receive than to give.

The second law of large corporations

Any action for which there is no logical explanation should be considered “firm policy”.

Law for a manager responsible for assigning titles to different positions

The longer the job title, the less important the associated job is.

The law of acquisitions and mergers of firms

In any merger or acquisition of firms, the formed company will provide the worst level and quality of service.

Consequences

1. The larger the company, under the auspices of which the acquired firm falls, the less attention is paid to the projects that were implemented in it before the merger or acquisition.

2. When bosses say that no job will be lost, they are lying.

Robert's Law

No meeting is a substitute for progress.

Robert's rule

An effective bureaucracy is the biggest threat to freedom.

Adler's axiom

Language is the only thing that distinguishes us from lower animals and from bureaucrats.

Sandrio's rule for bureaucratic spending

When a bureaucratic department has a new source of income, the first proceeds from it will be used to expand the administration of the corresponding project, and not at all for the needs of this project itself.

Hommon's law

In a bureaucratic system, an increase in costs will be accompanied by a corresponding drop in production.

Nees's law

The efforts spent by the bureaucracy to justify and defend any of their mistakes are directly proportional to the scale of this mistake.

Herbert's law

Bureaucracy is an organization that has elevated stupidity to the status of a religion.

Heisenberg Supplement

If you watch the bureaucrat long enough and closely to find out which of the above situations does occur, he will react to your observation by covering his ass.

Cox's remarks

The Commission is a dead end in which ideas are first loudly seduced and then quietly stifled.

Maynard's rule for commissions

The effectiveness of any commission is inversely proportional to the number of its members.

Bodrag's Law

No one has ever erected a monument to the commission.

Koblitz's law

The Commission is capable of making a decision that is dumber than any of its members.

Peterson's principle

Never delay the end of the meeting or the start of your lunch break.

Horwood's Ninth Law

The acquisition of knowledge through experience is nothing more than an exception.

Horwood's Eighth Law

In complex systems, there is no interdependence between the information gathered and the decisions made.


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